‘SNL’ skewers classified docs scandal, demands ‘justice’Tyre Nichols

NBC’s “Saturday Night Live” cold open lampooned the classified document scandal facing the country’s law two presidential administrations.

Mikey Day portrays Attorney General Merrick Grland as an immature crimefighter with strong-guy ambitions.

“I may look like I was born in a library, but there’s something you should know: Merrick Garland don’t play,”After being introduced with a Western-inspired theme song, punctuated with the sound of horses being whipped, the fake AG stated.

Garland said President Biden and former Vice President Mike Pence’s lawyers had been cooperating with the feds after being busted with top secret documents, but not former President Trump, “whose lawyer put a horse head in my bed.”

An FBI agent, played by Kenan Thompson, said they found photographs of Shania Twain cut out from magazines at former Vice President Mike Pence’s home.
Rosalind O’Connor/NBC via Getty Images

Day-as Garland answered the rhetorical query “Is it urgent to get the classified documents back from the leaders?” “I don’t know, but it’s the law. And I am the law.”

Agents played by Kenan Thompson and Ego Nwodim then stepped to the podium to describe how their searches of Pence’s house and the home of Vice President Kamala Harris turned up empty.

At Pence’s house, the only untoward finding was a folder labeled “tax stuff”Thompson explained that photographs of Shania Twain were found in magazines.

The current veep’s home was also free from illicit documents.

“Come on now. Joe Biden won’t even give this woman a pen. You think she has classified documents?,” Nwodim said.

Bowen Yang played a star-struck agent and was charmed when former President Obama visited his home.

Bowen Yang.
Bowen Yang played an FBI agent and spoke out about how he was charmed when he visited his home to inspect it.

Obama read Yang some of the 175 letters he had received from Lin Manuel Miranda, and gushed about how the two-term Democrat ignored a call from Beyoncé during his visit.

Thompson returned to the sketch again to demand justice for the Tyre Nichols fatal police beating on Jan. 10, 2010. In connection to the incident, five former officers were charged with murder.

“Hey boss when we done playing with your little papers, we gonna head down to Memphis and make sure justice is served down there too right?,”The agent then asked.

“I sincerely hope so,”Day has been responded.

Thompson returned to the sketch in order to demand justice for Tyre Nichols’ fatal beating by the Tennessee Police Department.
Rosalind O’Connor/NBC via Getty Images

Michael B. Jordan was the host.

“Michael be hosting. Michael be joking. And honestly, Michael be nervous, Michael be vulnerable”He confessed while speaking to live audiences. “Michael be in therapy.”

Once you have found the most handsome man, “Creed III” host was single, Chloe Fineman and Heidi Gardner and Nwodim — wearing a wedding dress — then went to desperate lengths to throw themselves at him, but were rebuked.

Punkie Johnson was a lesbian who said that even she wasn’t. “B-curious”Discuss hooking up Jordan

“Even vegans have cheat days right?,”The comedian then asked him, and then he began to shamelessly sexually assault him.

“Weekend Update”Colin Jost brought up the issue of classified documents and noted that Obama, Bush and other former presidents had made statements declaring they weren’t in possession.

“Jimmy Carter issued a statement saying ‘come and get them you bastards,’”Jost’s crack cracked when a graphic over the shoulder showed Jost standing before piles and stacks of documents while wielding his machine gun.

Lil Baby, a rapper performed the songs “Forever” “California Breeze.”

Actor Pedro Pasca will be joined by the band Coldplay on the show’s Feb. 4 episode.

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