On Monday’s broadcast of CBS’ “The Late Show,” host Stephen Colbert addressed the arrest of a few of his workers by Capitol Police and mentioned that “the Capitol Police were just doing their job. My staff was just doing their job.” And that his workers’s conduct “was first-degree puppetry. This was hijinks with intent to goof, misappropriation of an old Conan bit” and “just a puppet doing puppet stuff.” However “so much has changed in Washington that the Capitol Police do have to stay at high alert at all times because of the attack on January 6. And as the hearings prove more clearly every day, the blame for that actual insurrection all lies with Putin’s puppet.”
Colbert mentioned, “Last week, I heard from my old colleague Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. Triumph offered to go down to D.C. and interview some congresspeople to highlight the January 6 hearings. I said, sure, if you can get anyone to agree to talk to you. … Well, he did. Democratic and Republican congresspeople agreed to talk to Triumph. … Now, Triumph and my folks shot for two days in congressional offices across the street from the Capitol Building. They went through security clearance, shot all day Wednesday, all day Thursday, invited into the offices of the congresspeople they were interviewing. … Now, end of day two, Thursday evening, after they’d finished their interviews, they were doing some last-minute puppetry and jokey make-em-ups in a hallway, when Triumph and my folks were approached and detained by the Capitol Police. Which actually isn’t that surprising, the Capitol Police are much more cautious than they were, say, 18 months ago, and for a very good reason. If you don’t know what that reason is, I know what news network you watch. So, the Capitol Police were just doing their job. My staff was just doing their job. Everyone was very professional. Everyone was very calm. My staffers were detained, processed, and released. A very unpleasant experience for my staff, a lot of paperwork for the Capitol Police, but a fairly simple story.”
He continued, “Until the next night, when a couple of the TV people started claiming that my puppet squad had, ‘committed insurrection‘ at the U.S. Capitol Building. First of all, what? Second of all, huh? Third of all, they weren’t in the Capitol Building. Fourth of all — and I am shocked I have to explain the difference — but an insurrection involves disrupting the lawful actions of Congress and howling for the blood of elected leaders, all to prevent the peaceful transfer of power. This was first-degree puppetry. This was hijinks with intent to goof, misappropriation of an old Conan bit. … Now, it’s predictable why these TV talkers are talking like this on the TV. They want to talk about something other than the January 6 hearings on the actual seditionist insurrection that led to the deaths of multiple people and the injury of over 140 police officers. But drawing any equivalence between rioters storming our Capitol to prevent the counting of electoral ballots and a cigar-chomping toy dog, is a shameful and grotesque insult to the memory of everyone who died and it obscenely trivializes the service and the courage the Capitol Police showed on that terrible day.”
Colbert concluded, “[I]n this case, our puppet was just a puppet doing puppet stuff. And, sad to say, so much has changed in Washington that the Capitol Police do have to stay at high alert at all times because of the attack on January 6. And as the hearings prove more clearly every day, the blame for that actual insurrection all lies with Putin’s puppet.”
Observe Ian Hanchett on Twitter @IanHanchett
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